"When we all think of the family as a team and focus on building each other up and discipling and teaching each other the things we have learned, we aren't as tempted to squabble or fight for 'our rights.'"

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Please visit the Modesty Survey and view the Survey Results to learn more about how ladies can aid gentlemen with keeping their minds and hearts pure by wearing modest clothing and acting modestly. Click on the sentences for the poll results and text responses. We all need to strive to become more modest in mind, heart, and dress!

"Often we don't like the fact that we are copied in so many areas, but try to use it positively, and encourage them to be a godly example to their younger siblings. They will pick up on your attitudes towards your parents very quickly, so be careful to speak positively about your parents to them. Share with them your own struggles and victories, so they can pray for you and you for them. Be honest with them and they will be with you."

"Let it be your object, then, every day of your life, to be useful to yourself and others. In the morning, ask yourself, 'What useful things can I do to-day? What can i do that will be a lasting benefit to myself? How can I make myself useful in the family? What can I do for my father or mother? What for my brothers or sisters? And what disinterested act can I perform for the benefit of those who have no claim upon me?' Thus you will cultivate useful habits and benevolent feelings."

"... if you truly honor your parents from the heart, you will not wait for their commands. You will be always ready to obey the slightest intimation of their wishes."

"Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord." {Colossians 3:20}

"The will, in our fallen and depraved state, is turbulent and unsubmissive. It is not disposed to submit to the law of God, nor to those whom God has set over us. Yet there is nothing of more importance to our happiness and usefulness than the early subjection of the will. If you determine that you will always have your own will, you will certainly be unhappy; for it is impossible that you should always have your own way. But if you early accustom yourself to give up your own will; to submit to the will of God, as made known to you in His word and Providence,--to submit to your parents, as those whom God has set over you, and to your own conscience, as the faithful monitor which God has placed in your own bosom,--then you will be as happy as you can be in this imperfect state. This you will not accomplish all at once. It must be the result of experience, trial, and discipline, with the grace of God in your heart."

"But the true way to honor your parents, at all times and in all circumstances, is, to have your heart right with God. If you have true piety of heart toward God, you will show piety toward your parents; for you will regard the authority of His commandment, and delight in doing what will please him. The fear of God, dwelling in your heart, will lead you to reverence all His commands, and none more continually and conscientiously than the one which requires you to honor your parents. Every thing that you do for them will be done, 'not with eye-service, as men-pleasers, but with good will, doing service as to God, and not to man."

"The most important way that we can help our brothers and sisters is by praying for them. Pray for them everyday! Never think that prayer is a small or unimportant part of life. How could we ever 'win' if God wasn't on our side? ... We cannot succeed in getting along with our brothers and sisters without God's help. God is the only one who can really make our family be the way He wants it to be."

"Now, there is an interesting thing about being in the middle [of siblings]. It's that you not only look up to someone, but someone looks up to you. You also, like the firstborn, are in a great position of influence. ...We know how it is to be on the receiving side with our older siblings, so we know what our younger siblings want from us. Let's be the same kind of older sibling that we want our older one to be to us."

"Most firstborns do not realize the power they have. Our younger brothers and sisters notice us, look up to us, love attention from us, and copy us; they naturally want to please us. This puts us in a tremendous position to influence them. If we praise them for doing the right things, this is going to be an increased motivation for them to continue these things. Sometimes younger brothers and sisters are desperately trying to please us. They serve us, help us, and do things for us, but we simply take it for granted. They are all excited, expecting praise, but they get nothing at all (or even worse--criticism)."

"Our society revels in dragging men down. If we [females] have brothers, we need to remember that what they really are is men-in-development, who have a fierce war waged against them. ... Our brothers need all the help and support they can get. They will grow up to be men, and God expects many things from men, such as maturity, responsibility, leadership, courage and boldness. They will need to be the leaders, initiators, protectors, and providers to their wives and children. The way we treat our brothers can affect how they perceive masculinity, how they will view their wives, how they will treat their children, and what kind of stand they will take in our culture. Will we teach our brothers that they should get used to being bossed around by women, that their opinions don't matter, that their leadership is lousy and unwanted, that their protection is insulting and their presence is distasteful? Or do we teach them that they are created in God's image, to be the head, to have the love, help and support of women--ours first, and then their wives'? Do we teach them that we value their opinions, respect their leadership and appreciate their protection?"

"I've noticed that people act the way they are treated. If you treat your brother like he's a pain in the neck, don't be surprised if he starts acting like one! My dad says that if you treat people like you respect them, they will act respectable. If you take their side, they will be loyal to you. If you treasure them, they will be a treasure. Treat people the way you want them to act."

"Even though we live with our brothers and sisters, we may not know them as well as we think we do. If we do not take the time to listen to them, see their needs, and understand them, we may just be living our own lives, oblivious to how they need our support and encouragement. You may be surprised about how many things there are in your siblings' lives that you are not aware of."

"Make the decision that you will take the humble position in your family. This is difficult to do, but God will reward you. Starting today, look for opportunities to humble yourself with your brothers and sisters. Here are some possible ways: Be willing to listen to them instead of talking about yourself. Ask for their help and advice. Consider your siblings more important than yourself. Be willing to do things their way. Don't make all the decisions. Let others be the first to tell the latest news. Say, 'I was wrong,' and explain why. Ask forgiveness. Share your struggles. Be quick to give in when there is a problem. Never put them down by joking about them. Express gratefulness and thankfulness for the ways they benefit your life. Be willing to do the things no one else wants to do. Look for ways to serve them. Submit to them. Try to fit into their schedule, rather than forcing them to fit into yours. Let them have the best (places to sit, things to eat, things to have, etc). Le them win the argument. Don't defend yourself when they criticize you."

"The quality of our relationship with our brothers and sisters depends significantly upon our relationship with the Lord. It is only by seeking His best in our life first that we will then be able to have His best in our family. Because we are focusing on the bigger picture, we need to make each decision in light of eternity. This requires God's perspective."

"It is likely that if we can learn to get along with our brothers and sisters, we can get along with anyone. Family life is where we practice Christian love and character. Every time we are annoyed or provoked, God is testing us. We should learn to think of each trial as a moral test, which reveals where we really stand in our Christian walk. Do we pass our moral tests and refrain from exploding at our little brothers, or do we fail? These moral tests are an opportunity to mature in our Godliness."

"The more you work together as a family, the more you will see how God has designed your family the way it is. Each different personality, skill, and interest put together makes a complete package. As your family grows closer, you'll be excited to observe and share how God has been working."

"Our Heavenly Father is personally concerned about His children. He is working in even the little details of our life to mold us to the image of His Son, Jesus Christ. (Romans 8:28-29) Our Father is more concerned about our inward character than our outward achievement. He has a specialized training program for each of us. This training program begins at home. God's classes come in many unexpected ways, at unexpected times, in unexpected locations, and often through unexpected people--like brothers and sisters. In fact, brothers and sisters seem to be some of the most common 'professors' in God's University. He is not only creative with His choice of teachers but also with His assignments and projects. Because we do not know the future, we often do not understand what God is doing. It takes faith to believe that His ways are perfect and that the family we are in is part of God's specialized program for us. If we cooperate with His training program we will be ready and prepared for the exciting future He has in store for us."

"We are commanded to obey our parents (Ephesians 6:1). Obedience is more than outwardly obeying with a resentful, grudging attitude. Obedience means inwardly obeying, from the heart, with eagerness and cheerfulness. True obedience means obeying even when it's hard. But obedience doesn't have to be painful. When we have a deep, abiding inner reverence for their wisdom and instruction, we will actually seek out their guidance and will consider their preferences are more important than our own."

"On some days in our family it seems like everything is just one big, sticky mess! But is it really a disaster? Maybe we need a new perspective! Is it a disaster, or is God training you in a creative way? Is it just another family problem, or is it a special assignment from God? Is it a tragedy, or is it a new opportunity to learn? Sometimes God's assignments seem huge, but the rewards are even bigger."

"Accept God's design for your family. God is the One who has given you the family that you have. His ways are perfect and He has a purpose for what He does. If you are upset about a certain aspect of your family (such as who your brothers and sisters are, how many you have, or your birth order), you are actually upset at God."

"Always bear in mind that the behavior of just one person in a family can have a huge impact and influence on the whole mood of the family. When we're selfish and argumentative, the whole family is set back. It stops rising higher in Godliness, and has to fight just to preserve its survival. Our life is too short to spend in a way, and this is why it is so important that we build each other up."

"Is the way you treat the members of your family pleasing to God and edifying to the people around you? Family harmony is an important testimony, because people notice families, whether they are loving and harmonious, or hateful and quarrelsome."

"A family is more than a sum of its parts. A 'fully functioning' family thinks like a team. Each member has different abilities, but all share a vision and work toward the same goal. ... The weak and dysfunctional families are the families without a united goal and purpose. Though the members may be diligent in pursuing their own separate ministries, there will always be a limit to how much fruit these can bear, because families are most productive when the members are united in vision and work together to execute a common mission."

*LORD willing, February's quotes will be about the children of the family and their duties to parents and siblings.